Mode 7, grizzled progenitors of astonishing tactical masterpieces Frozen Synapse and Frozen Cortex, are ecstatic to announce the advent of a FREE UPDATE (all-caps mandatory) for the a-lastmentioned (that’s the opposite of aforementioned) strategic digito-electronic computer dataprogram.
Right, so that wasn’t an ideal opening to a press release by any means. It was somehow both cliched and pretentious, while doing little to draw attention to what is actually happening. I’d give it a 3 out of 10, or on Eurogamer’s scale, 3 Recommended Wreaths out of 10 Recommended Wreaths.
We want to make the best single player for Frozen Cortex possible, so we’ve done something called “Frozen Cortex Manager”. It adds a much deeper simulation to the game: every player is a proper entity with stats and injuries; you can bid on free agents and manage your salary cap; you can set formations; you can even simulate matches so you don’t have to do anything. We also added a 90-team college league complete with massive end-of-season tournament and a bracket that you can fill out to predict the winners.
People often ask me, “Paul, why do you take this long-winded, opaque and frankly entirely tiresome approach to press releases when you could just link to the trailer and supply a convenient list of bullet points instead?”
“Ooh, well look at you, Mr Common Sense, wearing a *seat belt* in a *car*,” is my snark-laden retort. “There is absolutely no reason…that I can’t do both!”